Just A Mere Memory
by erre13
Summary: When he had been summoned, he wasn't sure what he would find upon his arrival. He especially did not want to find one of the Golden Trio standing in the middle of a circle of Death Eaters. :: warning: mention of rape ::


Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the poem. The world of Harry Potter belongs to JKR, the poem "Death Snips Proud Men" belongs to Carl Sandburg (in italics), and the excerpt from _Candide_ belongs to Voltaire. The scent described by Severus Snape is based on Moonlight Path created by Bath&Body Works.

Author's Note: Just an idea that came into mind while I was struggling with Gestures and Air. Just to let you know, it doesn't completely follow the timelines of the books and the people are a bit out of character and the ending ended up differently than I had originally thought.

* * *

_Death is stronger than all the governments because the governments are men and men die and then death laughs: Now you see 'em, now you don't._

When he had been summoned, he wasn't sure what he would find upon his arrival. He wasn't sure if he would be privy to another torture session for his lack of information or usefulness. He wasn't sure if he would witness the new recruits take the blasted mark upon their skin and murder a few Muggles to prove their loyalty. He wasn't sure if he would come upon a killing of someone that he knew: colleague, student, Order member, acquaintance, or other. He especially did not want to find one of the Golden Trio standing in the middle of a circle of Death Eaters.

"My faithful servants." The Dark Lord extended his arms in a wide sweeping motion. "Today, I have quite a treat for you." He looked at the girl struggling in the middle of the floor, her body pulling against the ropes that bound her tightly in an inconsistent manner. "It seems that a lion has found itself a pit of snakes." His laugh was not cheerful or encouraging; instead it held promises of pain and hopelessness. Hermione Granger looked around quickly and her eyes settled on his a second longer than the rest even though his mask was placed firmly on his features. "Let's see how it fairs shall we?" With a wave of his hand Voldemort had vanished the ropes and Hermione was on her feet in a flash, her wand brandished, and three Death Eaters unconscious. She was fast and more magically adept than he remembered. Apparently her time away for research was spent on more than reading. By this time all wands were wielded and Snape forced himself to join in the spell casting, praying that Hermione was good enough to survive.

It seemed he need not worry considering she had been constantly mumbling under her breath the entire time, her spells and curses cast at incredible speed. The Dark Lord cocked his head in thought as he watched his Death Eaters fall one after another until only a choice few were left: McNair, Bellatrix, the Lestranges, Malfoy, and Snape. Severus watched the Dark Lord stand calmly.

"It seems that the only worry we have regarding the war is right in front of us." His eyes gleamed. Hermione's breath was haggard and Severus guessed that the magic she had been doing was very dependent on her stamina which was quickly draining. Bellatrix seemed to look at the girl with malice laced with a longing that the Potions Master knew to be reserved for those that excited her terribly. To think that Hermione Granger would elicit such a response from the crazed woman put him on edge.

"My Lord, perhaps more conventional methods would work better against this one?" Bellatrix's voice was husky and her eyes were already misting from the thought. Voldemort did not acknowledge her at all.

"Miss Granger, it seems your skills have been rather understated by my loyal subjects." Voldemort's smile was feral, his reptilian features only adding to the chilling feelings it brought. He pulled out his yew wand and pointed it straight at the young woman who had been catching her breath for the past few moments, her mind racing as her survival was at stake.

"Although my followers have been rather obedient when they can help it, they fail to appreciate a mind such as yours it seems. Their curses were meant to mutilate you Miss Granger. To mangle your body until you were unrecognizable. To bleed you until you had nothing left to give. To muddle your brain to the point where thinking would not be possible. I am rather pleased to find that you have managed to avoid them all." He smiled again and Hermione felt something in her stomach drop.

"What do you suppose your fate should be Miss Granger?" He twirled his wand expertly and he awaited her answer. When nothing came he grabbed her chin roughly and held her wand hand so that her weapon was pointed towards the ceiling.

"Tell me, Hermione. What do you suppose will happen to you?" He said as he took an almost sensual whiff of her hair. The next thing Severus knew, Hermione had been slapped harshly, her wand broken in half, and her body on the ground. Voldemort wore a vicious expression that Bellatrix matched evenly.

"How dare you spit on our Lord! Crucio!" Bellatrix's curse ran true and the Dark Lord did nothing to stop her and although Hermione's body writhed, no sound came out of her open mouth. She was refusing Bellatrix the satisfaction. Severus watched as Hermione underwent torture for almost as hour. He did nothing. Severus watched as Hermione's bleeding body was dragged down into the dungeons. He could not do anything. Severus stood still as he heard her screams as Malfoy, McNair, and Rebastian took turns sating their primal urges with her young and supple body. He wished he was able do something.

Severus Snape had managed to be the one to bring her food as well as escort her to the Dark Lord when she was requested. He didn't know what happened during those sessions but he knew they were not pleasant. Afterwards Hermione would barely be able to stand, her hands always on the side of her head. One day while no one was looking he created a portkey from one of his buttons and held it out to her.

"Miss Granger, this will take you to Hogwarts." She only looked at him before refusing.

"I can't, they'll know you helped me. I must stay here." Her resolve shown in her eyes and he could do nothing but put his button turned portkey back in its place. "But, if it wouldn't be much trouble I wonder if you could provide me with a silver dagger." Severus looked at her skeptically before pulling one from the inside of his vest. At her upturned eyebrow he explained.

"Never know when one is needed." Hermione's eyes widened at his meaning and she nodded, taking the dagger quickly. Looking down the hallway she continued to speak.

"There's something I want to give you, just in case things get out of hand. You must keep it with you always." Before he could stop her she pulled up her shirt and he could see a unique marking just above her right hip. Runes it seemed to be, small and delicate. She took the tip of the dagger and pushed it against the center of design and mumbled under her breath as she fished for something in her pocket. A small crystal vial; how she got it past Malfoy's inspection he didn't know. Her blood dripped and she collected it within the vial before mumbling some more and her wound healed itself. Severus stared in wonder; he had never seen such a delicate display of magic. She grabbed his hand and slammed the vial and the dagger in it just as Bellatrix opened the door to the dungeons. Hermione screamed and writhed in mock pain while Severus slipped the vial into one of the deeper pockets of his robes as he raised his wand.

"Now, now Severus, it isn't fair of you torture the Mudblood all by yourself. You really should have asked me if I wanted to play." Bellatrix's eyes shined.

"My apologies Bellatrix, whenever I see her, an ache starts in my skull. The Dark Lord should have disposed of her, but instead I am made to come to make sure she is provided for."

"Don't worry Severus, the Dark Lord has informed me that she will be taken care of soon." Bellatrix spied the dagger in his hand and touched the blade affectionately. "I'm surprised Severus, such a form of torture is usually never seen from you."

"I was willing to make an exception for this one." Severus said as he put it away. "But it seems the moment is lost." Bellatrix looked disappointed.

"My apologies, though, I haven't seen your work with a blade for quite some time."

"Agreed." He said as he began to walk away, his mind on the vial.

It wasn't until a few weeks later he was able to speak to Miss Granger alone, her condition was worsening each day that passed. She was filthy, her skin covered in grime, blood, and semen. Her hair a tangled mess of dirty brown. Her eyes held a faraway look that would break momentarily every time he would step into her presence. He looked around.

"Miss Granger, the Headmaster has arranged for your rescue in a few days time. The fortress will be seized and you will finally be able to go home." She only looked at him with an expression that he could not make out. When she made to speak Malfoy entered the dungeons saying that the Dark Lord requested for their presence. Snape escorted her to the room and stood to the side as Voldemort walked slow circles around Miss Granger.

"It seems that breaking you is harder than I had previously thought." He ran a cold, slender finger down her face, an act that made Severus growl inwardly. "Your mental barriers are rather impressive, but unfortunately they will no longer be able to protect you." In seconds Hermione was writhing on the floor once again as the Dark Lord peered down at her carefully for nearly three quarters of an hour. Hermione squirmed and bit her lip until it drew blood. It wasn't until Hermione screamed shrilly that he retreated, leaving her to gasp on the floor as if she had been drowning and air was the most heavenly thing in the world. Severus noticed something was different immediately as he was ordered to drag her bad to her cell; her eyes were hard with a glassy look. A look he was well acquainted with: she wasn't there anymore. Worrying for her safety he forced himself into her mind as soon as she was locked up and reeled back unexpectedly. He took a few steps back before calming his breathing. He had gone into Miss Granger's mind only months before and it had never looked like this.

He had forced himself past the more gothic styled labyrinths, behind the mazes and fake memories. He swept past the self-formed delusions and delved into a corner of Hermione's mind where she kept everything hidden. There is was, gleaming in front of him, except around it were tendrils of smoke. There were bloody human skins draped over countless yew trees and fires that burned on infinitely. Inside this small space in her mind were shadows that talked in tongues he couldn't understand but had constantly tried to grab at him, made him stay, drag him down until he couldn't move. He never would have guessed that Hermione Granger's mind would become such a place.

Severus Snape was suddenly brought back when a harsh laugh resounded in his ears along with a hand pounding against the bars.

"Severus Snape." The Potions Master looked into the wild eyes of Hermione Granger and took a few more steps back, enough so that his heels hit the corridor wall.

"Miss Granger." She laughed again, a strange laugh that wasn't musical nor was it light. It was broken and chaotic, much like Bella's laugher just after she had gotten out of Azkaban. When Hermione looked at him with such lost eyes it was then that Snape knew that he had to leave. He left the dungeons with a swish of his cloak, ready to tell the Headmaster of his failure.

* * *

_Death is stronger than all proud men and so death snips proud men on the nose, throws a pair of dice and says: Read 'em and weep._

It had happened just as Albus had told him. The Dark Lord's fortress had indeed been infiltrated, a few of the lesser death Eaters held prisoner, and the dungeons emptied. The next time he saw Hermione Granger was during her struggle with the school's Mediwitch. Everyone could see that she had changed during her imprisonment. Potter and Weasley were standing awkwardly to the side as the Headmaster was trying to calm down the remaining member of the Golden Trio. Hermione had come back calmly but only an hour ago she had changed drastically: throwing items, performing haphazard magic without a wand, flinching and cowering from touch and loud noise. Currently she was pacing back and forth, her hair frizzing with tendrils of uncontrolled magic. It wasn't until Weasley tried to bring her back to her usual self with a hug that Severus needed to step in, if only to keep the boy safe. At his touch the girl had recoiled to the wall with a snarl that caused Severus' hair to stand slightly on end. The look in her eyes told of danger and he barely managed to hold her back physically before she lunged for the redhead.

Hermione Granger had struggled violently, a crazed and feral look in her eyes. Dumbledore had immediately ushered out everyone in the room, leaving Snape with Hermione only after a meaningful glance. The more the young woman thrashed the tighter the Potions Master held her, crushing her to his form with his usually unseen strength. It took an hour and a half of Severus' tight grip before Hermione began to calm down enough that he could let her go. Without him gripping her arms she slumped against him so that he had to hold her up at the waist.

"Miss Granger." She started to struggle again and in his frustration he turned her and pinned her arms to her sides. "Miss Granger!" He hadn't realized how close he had gotten and made a move to retreat but her eyes had stopped him. There was a flare of recognition that he could not avoid. "Miss Granger, you are back at Hogwarts. You are safe now." He hoped that his concern for her welfare had shown through his gaze before letting go again. She stood still, her arms to her side just staring at him. He was about to say something more but she had ran into him with enough force that his back hit the wall. Her hands were clutching onto his clothing, her head rubbing against his chest, her body shaking with her sobs. The Potions Master did the only this he could do at the time: he embraced her with all he had, hoping that maybe the force would chase away her demons.

Severus Snape didn't know how long he stood there with the girl in his arms. It could have been minutes, hours; all he knew was that Hermione had stopped crying, the sun had set, and it was becoming cooler in the infirmary.

"A generous dose of the black depth of wool fabric that holds in a Potions Master's scent: A mixture of sandalwood and lemongrass, a curling of vapors and smoke." Her words were breathy, her head bent, her hands still clutching tightly to his clothing. Severus closed his eyes for a moment before releasing his breath slowly. Gently, he curled his long fingers around her hands and slowly removed them from his jacket before guiding her towards her assigned bed. After administering a Dreamless Sleep potion and tucking her in like a child, he sat in the nearby chair. Her eyes were wide open, staring at the ceiling. Sometimes she would raise her hands and stare at them interestedly or mumble nonsense words under her breath. It came almost as a shock when she looked at him with clear eyes and smiled that pretty smile of hers before closing her eyes to sleep. Severus waited at least ten minutes before closing the curtains around the exhausted girl.

Albus Dumbledore was staring out his window when Severus arrived. He allowed the man to seat himself in a chair before turning to look at him. To say the Headmaster was surprised as he took in the form of Severus Snape slumped uncharacteristically in a chair would have been an understatement. The man he knew was always neat and orderly, controlled, never sloppy or haggard looking. The man he knew would hide every feeling, every emotion, and every twitch of pain or discomfort behind a façade and project an air of restraint that he had only seen a handful of times. The man that was sitting in the chair looked exhausted with his eyes closed, head hung back to expose his throat, a trait that Severus Snape would never normally allow, his arms hanging on the arms of the chair instead of sitting on them so that his forearms would follow the line of the arms, and his body slouched when it would normally be straight against the back of the chair. The Headmaster took a deep slow breath before conjuring up a tray of tea, Imperial Gunpowder for the man across from him.

"Tea, Severus?" He added the milk without having to be told and held it out for the man to take. After a cup of tea each the older man began to speak.

"Did Miss Grange happen to say anything to you, Severus?" A flash ran across Snape eyes for a moment which the Headmaster did not notice.

"I'm afraid not Headmaster." Severus did not know what led him to lie; perhaps it was because he considered Miss Granger's words too intimate to share. They were far too personal in his opinion and Severus was a very private soul.

"At least she is home again." All Severus could do was nod his agreement. The Headmaster took a long, hard look at the man before him. "You look like you could use sleep Severus."

"Perhaps." Snape stood, straightening his robes as he did so. "Good night Headmaster."

"Good night Severus." Albus Dumbledore watched the Potions Master leave with a worried expression.

Hermione Granger had a constant stream of watchers all concerned for the girl who was considered the brightest witch of her age. Severus Snape could see their disappointment and loss as they all looked at her. The Dark Lord had been correct when he said that most did not appreciate a mind such a Miss Granger's. Yes, she was a brilliant scholar but that was not all she was. She was more than a walking encyclopedia of knowledge which was what most considered her to be. She was more than Potter's brain in this war, a fact that the Order had never mentioned. To the Order she was part of the research team, a young woman, and best friend to Harry Potter. She was more than a piece to be played with. From what he knew and understood, Miss Granger was a kind, caring soul. She was innovative and looked at things from a completely different perspective than most wizards he knew. She was adaptive and creative with regards to magic whether it be wand techniques or brewing processes. She was courageous when she needed to be, quiet, reserved, and controlled in most cases so that she would not overshadow others. Although she did not seem to be, she was quite a dueler and strategist not that Potter or Weasley gave her credit for her efforts. The young woman who was currently pacing up and down the infirmary ward was far more than what everyone else though her to be and he cursed inwardly when the Dark Lord's words range so clearly in his mind.

"Don't look at me like that!" Hermione's harsh words clearly surprised his colleague to the point where she felt the need to step back.

"Miss Granger, I have no idea what you mean." Minerva McGonagall was surprised at her prize student's behavior.

"I know what you're thinking: Her mind is lost, she's of no use to us anymore." The young woman pointed a trembling finger at her Professor. "I know exactly what you're thinking!"

"Miss Granger, I assure you that I think no such thing."

"Lies! All of you are liars. I can see it in your eyes; practically see the words forming in your minds!" Her screams were borderline screeching and Severus winced slightly. Snape was intrigued by her behavior. Just a few weeks earlier she seemed completely gone, but slowly she was regaining her senses, though it seemed only a few minutes at a time because Hermione had gone back to her constant, yet erratic pacing. Her mumbling had returned and occasionally she would pull hard on her hair. He placed a hand on Minerva's shoulder and released her from her watch. He observed the woman walk away, proud, but with a tear slipping down her cheek.

His shift went as it usually did: Miss Granger had paced for most of the time, though she would spend a few hours staring out the window. He often wondered as to what she was thinking but after prodding her mind a few days before he decided that he would not do so again. Her reaction had been quite volatile. He had been pushed back into the wall with a powerful magical force that had caused him minor injury, nothing he or Poppy couldn't fix. Her eyes had been bloodshot from lack of sleep due to pacing and she had bared her teeth at him. It took him almost an hour to calm her back down to her usual pacing, though she would glance at him suspiciously ever now and then. He did not want to go through that again anytime soon. Severus went back to reading his book, his mind and senses still attentive to the girl. He turned the page of the Muggle text he was currently re-reading. Despite what most would think considering his background he did not arbor ill feelings towards everything Muggle, especially literature. Severus Snape was a kind of man who read anything and everything. He had read through a few pages before the silence caused him to put it down, startled to find Hermione Granger kneeling in front of his chair, eyeing the book with a look of fascination.

"_Candide_, Miss Granger, I'm sure you've read it." She nodded her head enthusiastically. Seeing that he had quite a few hours left in his shift he glanced down the infirmary before clearing his throat and reading aloud where he left off. "There happened just then to be a small Dutch ship at anchor. The Norman, whom the other three diamonds had converted into the most helpful of men, made sure that Candide and his attendants got safely on bored this vessel, which was just ready to sail for Portsmouth in England…" Miss Granger hung onto every word he uttered, her attention fixed on him entirely. He read until Remus relieved him. This became a regular occurrence when it came time for him to watch her. She would stop her pacing and he would read. In a month's time he had finished Voltaire's _Candide_, Carrolll's _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_ and _Through the Looking-Glass_, Eugene O'Neill's _Long Day's Journey Into Night_, Ayn Rand's _Anthem_, Shakespeare's _King Lear_ and _A Midsummer Night's Dream_, and _The Compete Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm_. Severus felt that she would recognize Muggle literature as opposed to the more magical texts and kept his book choice limited to the more widely known ones.

At times he was too exhausted or injured from the Cruciatus Curse to read to her, but she would merely kneel at his feet, looking at him. The Dark Lord had not been thrilled when he had to move his base of operations nor was he pleased that Hermione Granger had gotten away. Snape wondered if the Dark Lord cursed him solely because he was constantly near the one woman who had been remotely interesting during her stay in his fortress. Severus was sure it was her mind that he wanted to spar with; he wanted to turn her so that he would have at least one more person who wasn't a complete idiot. He had been frustrated lately with their lack of progress. The year was closing fast and Snape knew that the final battle would be soon. He started when Hermione put a hand on his knee, partially pushing herself up. He must have been furrowing his eyebrows because she ran a thumb over them, trying to wipe it away. He sighed under her touch, relaxing a bit more. With his eyes closed he was completely unprepared for Hermione's lips on his for a brief, chaste kiss. Soon enough she had gone back to pacing and Remus had taken his chair and he had gone to walk the halls in order to clear his head.

* * *

_Death sends a radiogram every day: When I want you I'll drop in—and then one day he comes with a master-key and lets himself in and says: We'll go now._

The final battle had come much earlier than the Order had anticipated and the school had become the battleground. Hermione had been secured in the Headmaster's office with the portraits constantly watching her. She had refused to move, throwing a tantrum, uncontrolled magic leaking from her figure—a scene that was both dangerous and beautiful. With the grounds quickly becoming unsafe it had been decided that she would be able to floo away if things got out of hand. At the time she had understood but Severus wasn't sure if she would be able to do it. Miss Granger was sane enough on a normal day but there were times were she would act viscously, attacking everyone that came near to her. She was as of now an unstable element with regards to the war and Severus hoped that she would not run through the grounds in the heat of the battle and become just another count for the losses they would receive today.

He watched as the outer castle walls crumbled and fire ran through the corridors. He watched as Death Eater swept into the school, his eyes focused on the Headmaster's window but there was no movement that he could see. Hermione was hopefully safe. As the battle raged on many Death Eaters had fallen but the Order and the side of the Light had also taken casualties. The students for the most part had been evacuated but the members of Dumbledore's Army as they liked to be called had stayed to fight. He hoped that they were faring well considering the circumstances; hopefully the Trio, hopefully Harry, had prepared them well. He gave no more thought to how everyone else was doing as he concentrated on blocking curses, sending deliberately poorly aimed spells at Order members, and attacking Death Eaters without them realizing his true loyalties. Severus Snape had always walked a precarious path but soon it would all be over.

It wasn't until much later that he found himself back in the Shrieking Shack, his fear placed to the side as Voldemort led the way. Nagini, one of the last Horcruxes left was floating by the Dark Lord's side, protected by a shield. Potter would have a hard time destroying her like this which was Voldemort's plan. If Harry wanted him dead he would have to come to him. As predicted Potter came, dragging Weasley along with him. Severus felt a bit disappointed when the space that Miss Granger took between them was empty. During the moments in Remus' old hideout Voldemort had decided that Snape had become useless and allowed Nagini the honor of disposing of him. He could recall the terrible snake hissing as her bubble came closer, his back trapped against the wall with nowhere to run. If Potter hadn't needed the memories then he would have preferred death by wand than by snake bite, but of course, he was a man that needed to suffer. So, Nagini's bubble engulfed his entire head and she bit without mercy. He could feel the effects of the poison instantly as his body could no longer support his weight. Seeing that the job was done Voldemort had left with the snake, partially collapsing the building on his way out. Potter and Weasley had crawled over to him and he gave them the memories that the Headmaster so wanted him to have.

He gave him the memories of his childhood with Lily.

His interaction with Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew during school.

He gave him the silvery memory of his discussion with Dumbledore.

These memories would explain the protection Lily afforded him. They would explain why he would need to die to die to destroy the last Horocrux. The last part of the story they would explain would be that he really was Dumbledore's man.

After he gave up part of his person to the flesh and blood of Lily and James they had left him there to die. Of course, they feigned sadness but had not even attempted to heal him, not even to stop to ask if he wanted anything before he just went and disappeared from the face of the earth. So, Severus Snape, spy for the Order, Potions Master and Professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, was left to bleed to death on the filthy floor of the Shrieking Shack, the former clubhouse of the people who almost caused him an early death. Everything was a circle. Severus Snape, the dungeon bat, was going to die alone just like he had predicted. While he lay there, blood oozing from his neck, his mind could only focus on honey-chestnut curls and wide chocolate eyes. All his sensitive nose could smell was lavender, lily of the valley, oakmoss, and musk. For all the years he had worked for Dumbledore he had thought of Lily Evans, but now, as he was dying, all he could wrap his mind around was the essence of Hermione Granger.

It was probably only fifteen or so minutes after Potter had left that he heard a scuffling inside the shack. He had always suspected there to be rats in the old structure. When he felt something touch his jacket his eyes snapped open, ready to fight off the rats for as long as he could. The face of Miss Granger was not what he was expecting. And he had definitely not been expecting her to unbutton his clothing. When he tried to stop her hands she paused.

"Professor Snape, where's the vial I gave you?" Her eyes were the clearest he had ever seen them and her voice was back to its usual tone and texture. When he didn't respond she furrowed her brows and grabbed his wand, muttering. She was always muttering. She twirled the wand in complicated patterns and pointed to his throat and he could feel it starting to heal, but all of that would be meaningless without an antidote. The wound at his neck was knitting itself back together and Miss Granger had once again taken to unbuttoning his jacket.

"Professor, please, where is the vial? You kept it with you didn't you?" She was desperate, he could hear it in the way she pleaded with him. Using the last of his strength he reached into a deep pocket and pulled the vial from the depths. She grabbed it immediately and he thought she was going to leave once she had what she needed but she surprised him once again. Hermione Granger uncorked it and placed it on the edge of his lips.

"Professor, you must drink this." He did not open his mouth. He doubted Granger's blood would help him right now. "Professor, don't make me force you." The look she gave him was serious and he complied. His expression was interesting to say the least. The blood was sweet, like honeysuckle nectar, but it was hot as if he just drank a cup of tea. There was no copper aftertaste or smell during ingestion. But this was blood, he saw it being drawn. Hermione Granger looked relieved when he had drained the vial but said nothing more, working so his wound would heal completely. He felt his strength coming back and he tentatively touched his neck where Nagini had bit him; there was nothing but smooth skin. There was probably a scar but he didn't care. He sat up against the wall and looked at the young woman before him, clearing his throat before he spoke.

"Miss Granger." His voice was raspy but it would improve over time. "It seems that your brilliant mind has once again prevailed." She laughed, a musical laugh. He liked it. She launched herself at him once again and hugged his waist tightly.

"I was afraid I was too late Sir." She sobbed. "I'm glad I managed to get to you in time." Her tears were wetting his jacket and he pulled her away from his clothing to inspect her.

"It seems you are back to your normal self Miss Granger." With this statement she broke eye contact.

"I've always been my normal self Sir, I just changed for a bit." At his raised eyebrow she let out a long breath before explaining. "When I was researching for the Order I came upon a few obscure texts that led me to a lost magical tribe in the Amazon. I completed my N.E.W.T.s a year early and graduated ahead of my peers." Severus nodded, the Headmaster had mentioned that she had been away for research.

"With all the extra time I had I made my way to South America to track down the people I read about. During my time there I learned a different kind of magic than what Hogwarts taught me. I learned different wand movements, spells, and a lost form of runes." She smiled at him. "What I didn't know at the time was that the Dark Lord was also trying to find this lost magic and use it in the war. So, when I overheard from a few of the villagers that his men were wandering the rainforest I couldn't let him get his hands of those people. I did what I thought was right at the time, I allowed myself to get captured." She paused momentarily before looking at him again.

"Voldemort knew I had managed to find the Amazonian people and he tried to procure the information from me every time I was summoned to his chambers. When you offered me a way out, a portkey back to Hogwarts, I wanted to leave, I wanted to stop but I knew I couldn't. If I had taken your gift I would have put you in danger, I couldn't leave knowing that I might have been the reason you were killed. So, I pretended to have gone crazy under the Dark Lord's ministrations." She sat up straighter and took his hands in hers. "You told me once Professor that your Occlumency shields could be anything."

"I did." He looked at their hands, she had not released his.

"So, I made my shields more complicated. You reached the last level where the shadows wanted to pull you down. When I felt you there I was frightened Sir because if you had only let them drag you down into the nothingness eventually you would have realized that everything was all an act. Luckily, the Dark Lord did not feel like succumbing to the darkness either." Hermione placed her forehead against his knuckles.

"Every day I wanted to tell you Sir that I was okay. I saw your worried glances and your stony expressions. I wanted to tell you so badly but I couldn't. It was better if you all thought I had been affected. If Voldemort knew he would have done more to take me back, he would have asked you to do something because you were in the position to." She looked at him, her heart in her eyes. "Every time you had to restrain me, every touch and word you gave me I wanted to stop. I'm so sorry about blasting you into the wall again. And then you started reading to me. Your voice was so captivated, soft, I didn't know if I would be able to take it."

"And what was the kiss meant to do Miss Granger, another part of your act?" Hermione had fear in her eyes.

"That wasn't an act Sir." She clutched his hands tighter in hers. "I've loved you ever since—"

"Miss Granger, please save me your theatrics." Severus said with a sneer. To think that he had been fooled by the girl made his blood boil. He removed his hands from hers and stood, staring down at her.

"I'm not lying. My blood healing you is proof of that." Severus laughed harshly, and looked around them.

"I was meant to die like this Miss Granger: alone, in a dark place. You should have just left me." The Potions Master straightened his robes before grabbing her tightly by the arm and pulling her to a standing position. "I'm sure Misters Potter and Weasley will be glad to know that you are back to your normal self." As he made to pull her along she resisted.

"Why?" She was pleading with him again. "Why won't you believe me?" He looked at her with a hard glint in his eyes.

"Believe you Miss Granger? Should I believe that a girl of your stature has formed a crush on her Professor?"

" Damn you Severus Snape." Hermione Granger did something that no one would have believed. She pulled Snape's head towards hers and captured his mouth roughly. Snape didn't move. He didn't respond in kind nor did he pull away. He was frozen in place. When she pulled back she looked into his eyes to find that there was nothing there.

"Severus?" Her eyes were searching his.

"Are you quite finished Miss Granger?" He fixed her with his cruelest stare and watched as she cried silently, much like her third year when he called her a Know-It-All. She said nothing, nor did she resist when he pulled her towards the castle. By now the wounded were being taken care of and the dead and missing were being accounted for. The Dark Lord had fallen but Snape was not disappointed that he had missed the battle between Potter and Voldemort. He was hoping to return Miss Granger to the safety of her friends and then simply disappear; to travel and to read books. He was a free man now and the thought made him somewhat apprehensive with regards to the future. He was sure Dumbledore would not want to let him go but he needed to leave. On his way across the grounds, Minerva crossed his path.

"Severus, you're alive!" She looked at him in astonishment and gasped when she saw Hermione. "Oh, thank God you've found her Severus, she never made it through the floo." Hermione said nothing, only looked down.

"As you can see Minerva she is perfectly fine." He looked around them and breathed deeply. "What are the casualties?" Minerva's face was grave and he could feel Hermione clamp onto his arm.

"I'm afraid that little Colin Creevy got caught by a few Death Eaters. He didn't make it." She wiped her eyes. "Fred Weasley was killed by Rookwood, you can imagine what his family is feeling. Vincent Crabbe's body was found in the Room of Requirement, Fiendfyre. Dolohov brought down Remus while Bellatrix took Tonks. Of course there are many others but you were thought to be among the dead also." She put a hand on his other arm. "I'm glad you are well Severus." The Potions Master nodded, taking in the casualties of war. He did not know Mister Creevy well but he had been a decent student. The loss of one the Weasley twins was quite a shock, he knew the entire family would not be the same. Vincent Crabbe's death had been the result of poor guidance. If he had worked with the boy a bit more maybe he would not have followed the same path as his father. The loss of both Remus and Tonks would be difficult considering their son still needed to be taken care of.

"Minerva, would you be kind enough to take Miss Granger to see her friends?"

"Of course." When Minerva made to take Hermione's hand the girl whimpered and clutched Severus' arm ever tighter. "Miss Granger, it's me. Professor McGonagall. Surely you remember who I am." Severus could feel her face rubbing against the sleeve of his cloak, she was going to go on pretending it seemed. The Transfiguration Professor frowned sadly. "Perhaps, it would be better if you took her Severus, she seems to prefer your company." He nodded his understanding and good bye before dragging Hermione with him towards the castle. When he reached the Great Hall Potter and Weasley met him at the entrance.

"Professor, I'm sorry, for everything. If I had known I would have—" He raised his hand to stop the boy.

"You were not meant to know."

"At least let me apologize for leaving you there, in the shack." Harry said while running a nervous hand through his hair. Ron nodded, his face and ears a bright red.

"Don't be offended when I say that I don't truly believe your sentiments." He sneered. He pushed Miss Granger forward. "I trust that you will take care of your friend." Harry and Ron lit up immediately.

"Hermione!" Both boys hugged her but she looked back at him with empty eyes.

"I assure you Miss Granger, you are in better hands with Misters Potter and Weasley." Both boys let go.

"Actually Sir. Can I speak to you about this." Harry motioned to Ron to take her to see his family. "I mean ever since Hermione came back from Voldemort's lair she's been different. Ron and I are glad to see that she's safe but she's not the same. I don't know what's going to happen to her. I don't want her to be admitted to St. Mungo's. And with Ron and me training to be Aurors we can't watch her. And, well I doubt Ron will want to marry Hermione the way she is." Severus narrowed his eyes at the boy.

"And what exactly does this have to do with me Mister Potter?"

"We were wondering if you could possibly watch her for a while. I would ask the others but she seems to take to you the best."

"I'm afraid that such a request is impossible. I've leaving in a few days and I doubt taking care of Miss Granger in her state while traveling would be the best idea."

"Of course Sir, I understand." Harry looked him in the eyes. "Thank you Sir once again, for everything." With that The-Boy-Who-Lived made his way over to the Weasleys. Snape saw Hermione steal glances at him a few more times before stopping to sit down on the floor. Unnoticed, he made his way towards her and leaned against the wall.

"Would it be worth it Miss Granger to keep this charade going? Apparently Mister Weasley had been thinking of marrying you." She snorted. He didn't understand why she would sacrifice all her potential for pitied looks and half-assed smiles.

"I'm leaving Miss Granger." When she said nothing he pushed himself off the wall.

"You aren't the only one." Her voice was soft but he heard it. Turning with a sigh he was about to confront the girl but she was gone. He furrowed his brows and looked around quickly, the entire hall was nearly empty and she should have been easy to spot but she was nowhere. He cursed before spying the Headmaster who seemed to have a knowing look. The Potions Master stuck his hands into his cloak pockets and his eyes widened slightly as he felt a familiar piece of glass. Pulling it out he found the vial, filled once more. She must have slipped it in during his talk with Minerva. Growling he made to smash it against the floor but an etching on the side made him squint.

Follow me down the rabbit hole. He frowned at the reference. Frustrated he put it back in his pocket and made his way towards the Headmaster.

* * *

_Death is a nurse mother with big arms: 'Twon't hurt you at all; it's your time now; you just need a long sleep, child; what have you had anyhow better than sleep?_

Hermione Granger had been missing for almost a year and the search had been winding down. Either she was lost completely or did not want to be found. While almost everyone thought it was the former, Severus knew that it was the latter of the two. Hermione Granger had left and was not planning on coming back. Snape had left Hogwarts to travel and to read like he had wanted. He was experiencing the world again. Although he was a free man, Dumbledore had let him go after all; he was still tired down by her image, her smell, and her touch. Sometimes he would dream of her smile and other times he would have nightmares of blood skins on yew trees and shadows that would pull him down into nothingness. As for the vial he would always carry it around with him, safe in a deep pocket in his cloak. He often wondered if he would see her again and if she would look the same. If the Order had not found her by now he figured that she would have changed her appearance and perhaps placed a memory charm on herself because she was that sort of a person: resourceful and prepared. He had almost given up hope by the time he returned to his house on Spinner's End, but he caught a flash of familiar hair walking down the street. He didn't know why he ran or why he grabbed her arm but he knew that it was her. Her hair was different, not the chaotic corkscrews that it had been, but softer, with larger, more manageable curls. Her skin was paler than he remembered but it was her eyes that startled him. They were the color of a misty gray. Despite her change in appearance she still smelled the same, still held herself the same, still the same intelligent look in her eyes.

"Can I help you?" Even her voice was the same. Snape let go quickly. He needed to confirm if she had altered her memory as he predicted.

"My apology Miss, I thought you were someone I knew." He wondered how the Order had missed her when she was right under their noses, right outside of London. She hadn't changed her appearance that much, perhaps in hopes that someone would find her. She smiled the smile he remembered.

"I'm sorry that I'm not who you're looking for." She took a good look at him before extending her hand. "Josephine Barker." He accepted the greeting.

"Severus Snape, nice to make your acquaintance." She smiled again.

"I'm sure the pleasure is all mine. Say, you look like you could use a good cup of tea, would you mind joining me?"

"I don't want to impose." She laughed her musical laugh. She took his arm with hers.

"Of course not. You're welcome to join. I know this great place that most people don't know about. You look like the kind of person that enjoys his peace and quiet." He gave a small smile in his agreement. He let her link her arm through his and lead him down the street to a small café. It was quaint, not too decorated, nice atmosphere. They took a seat and someone met with them immediately.

"Hello Josephine, nice to see you again. What will you have today?" The waitress was middle aged, with short, curly, red hair and deep blue eyes. Severus found it interesting that Hermione had found such a person who resembled her friend so much.

"Hey Beth. I'd like the Lapsand Souchong tea today and I believe my friend here would like the Imperial Gunpowder. As for the rest, you can surprise me." Beth laughed before walking towards the kitchen.

"How did you know I liked Imperial Gunpowder?" Josephine smiled.

"I'm not sure, you just seemed the type. I'm glad I got it correct though." She pushed her hair behind her ear. "So, tell me, what brings you to outer London?"

"Actually, I own a house not too far from here, though, I've only come back. I've been traveling for the past year."

"Really? Where have you gone?"

"Well I've visited the states, quite a place, different from here even though they stemmed from Britain. I've gone through Canada and Mexico. I've visited Africa for a time, most of England and Asia. I just recently came back from a trip to the Amazon." He wondered if the word would stir any reaction.

"Wow, you've traveled all over. What exactly is your profession that allows you to do so if I may ask? I mean, surely such trips require sufficient funds."

"I was previously a Professor but as of last year I have retired." She nodded as Beth returned with their tea and a plate of freshly baked scones with jam and cream.

"Thank you Beth, it looks delicious." Her smile was contagious it seemed as Beth showed her pearly white teeth.

"No problem. Have a good time now." Severus added some milk to his tea and stirred before picking up a jam and cream decorated scone.

"Best scones I've ever had." Josephine said as she took a bite. The Potions Master followed suit and found that they were indeed the most delicious scones he had ever had. Minerva would be jealous. The rest of the time spent in the small café was filled with light talk and Severus had insisted on paying the bill, much to Josephine's dislike. Eventually an argument had ensued.

"You know Severus, you are quite a stubborn man. How about this, I'll pay for today and you can take me out and pay for dinner Friday." She was smiling coyly and Severus laughed briefly.

"Friday then." He offered to walk her to wherever she was going but she said that it was unnecessary before giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"I'll see you Friday." She said as she wrote her number and address down on a piece of paper and folded it gently into his hand.

Friday had been a pleasant evening; he had taken her to a renowned upper class restaurant and had watched her cheerful expressions. Her dress had been captivating; a dark green halter top piece that dip rather low in the back. The fabric was smooth and rich, expensive. She had told him that she did all sorts of jobs, sometimes helped out in the café or cooked at a local restaurant. Sometimes she would bartend if she felt like it. But most of her time was spend as a local librarian which was what Severus had pictured her doing. After their meal they had danced, sensually, catching the attention of most of the other diners. They had ended with a low dip, Severus placing a brief kiss on her collar bone which caused her eyelids to flutter. Josephine Barker, no, Hermione Granger was quickly capturing his heart.

They had gone out half a dozen more times, all of which had ended with a kiss on the cheek for him. Today, he had walked her home afterwards and she had invited him inside for tea which he had graciously accepted. Her flat was simple; everything that was placed had a purpose. Looking at the door he could see the faint outlines of runes which gave him even more conviction that this indeed was Hermione Granger, though she either seemed not to know she was or she was a brilliant actress. She did after all, managed to con everyone only a year ago. She had placed both their coats on the nearby standing rack and made her way to the kitchen.

"Make yourself at home." She said and he settled down on the black, modern-styled couch. It was rather comfortable and he leaned back. The room had been painted a Green Tea color, the kitchen a darker, richer shade of yellow. From what he could see from her open bedroom door it had been painted a warm Charcoal Chestnut. She had come back with a tray which she placed on the coffee table. She poured a bit of milk in his cup before pouring in his tea.

"Thank you." He said as he took a sip. Imperial Gunpowder. She took a sip of her cup and sighed.

"Severus, I had a lovely time tonight." Her smile reached her eyes. She put down her cup and leaned back into the couch, her eyes closed. Snape put his teacup down on its saucer and stared at her face for a while before running the back of his fingers down her cheek gently. She sighed and leaned into his touch. Severus Snape cross the space between them and kissed her. It was a chaste kiss and when he made to retreat he stopped, surprised as her eyes flew open but they were no longer the misty gray he had become used to, they were their warm chocolate brown. Her hair had become slightly frizzier and her skin took on a few more shades of color.

"Hermione, it's nice to see you again." The woman smiled brightly.

"Severus, I'm glad you found me. Though, I knew you were never fooled by Josephine." Severus laughed slightly before cupping her cheek and running his thumb across her bottom lip.

"You caused quite a commotion when you left last year. I believe they have only just started to stop their search for you." Hermione leaned into his touch again.

"I didn't want to go back. I didn't want to be held down by obligations to Harry or Ron. It may be selfish of me but I've spend a good amount of my life in their shadows, I wanted to make my own for a change." She looked at him with a warm expression and he captured her lips in a bruising kiss. She had leaned towards him, a hand on his upper leg and had pulled back questioningly. She reached into his pant pocket and pulled out the vial she had given him a little more than a year ago. She fingered it intimately before placing it on the table.

"I'm glad you kept it." Her voice was breathy, much like the time he had first restrained her back in the Hogwarts infirmary.

"Indeed." He pulled up her chin and kissed her slowly. Her hands found their way into his hair which was soft, not greasy. He had pushed her back so that she was lying on the couch, his weight supported by his forearms. His eyes were dark.

"Perhaps I should stay the night."

"Yes, I think that would be a good idea. It's much too late to be wandering outside in the dark." She smiled before reaching up to caress his face. Her kisses were sweet, like her blood, tasting of honeysuckles. He couldn't get enough. In the dark of her bedroom he etched her into his memory with every kiss, every taste, every touch, and every smell of her skin. He kissed the rune design above her hip before capturing her mouth. Within the darkness they became aware of only each other, no thought of anything else passing through their minds.

* * *

The End.


End file.
